Hi. It's my first day back from fall break and I already miss being home. I miss you fussing over me. I miss you telling me to come watch TV up with you in your room and letting me take my dinner with me. I miss Sam and Jeff and Dad and the cat and the dog. But most of all I miss feeling like I live there. It's a surreal feeling, being back home. It's all the same yet different at the same time. It shouldn't feel like I'm just visiting in my own house and that's what makes me most upset.
I wish I had more than a weekend. There was so much stuff I wanted to do to make everything seem normal again. Then so many people wanted to see me and I felt really bad. I wanted to make time for everyone but in that I took time away from you. You were so excited that I was going to be home while the other two were in school because that meant that you got time alone with me. I'm so sorry that didn't really happen. But the thought was eating away at me all weekend.
I'll be back in two weeks though. I'm still not sure how ready I am to get a tattoo, but you're so excited about it, so I'll do it for you.
By the way, this school is not my "home." Home is wherever you guys are. I just spend a lot of my time here.
To the moon and back.
From Em, with love
Monday, October 26, 2015
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Dear Sam,
I missed you this today for family weekend. You ditched me again for you friends. I can't say that I'm not upset. You did this the last time I was home too. I wish you knew how hard it is being away from everyone and that every time I get to see you, even if it's only for a few hours, it's special to me.
We had our choir concert today and I was really hoping you would be there. I've never done anything like it before and I really wanted you to see that I'm taking more risks. I'm being more like you. But I also kinda wanted to show off how high I could sing because even I didn't know I could sing as high as I do. Plus I wanted to show you my friends and tell you about my adventure last night!
My friend invited me to this concert that I assumed was at her friend's school. So we got on a bus and walked a little through the city to her friend's dorm only for me to find out that we had to walk more and take another bus to some sketchy punk "stage" building thing in a part of the city I was not familiar with. I was scared out of my mind, Sam, but I figured this would bring me out of my comfort zone a little. Anyway it was a super small thing, like maybe only 35-40 people and they were all older. I think we were the youngest there. Overall the first band I liked, the second was okay, and the third was not my cup of tea and I was super anxious during the whole thing because it was late at night and I was concerned with getting a bus home. Plus they were mashing and a ladder fell on my hand and it hurt..
Anyway! When we were leaving we realized that the bus we were going to get on never stopped at an actual stop the first time, so I began to freak out even more. We were alone in the city at midnight frantically trying to figure out which bus gets us back home. Eventually we split up, me and my friend, and then the two girls from the other school. We eventually found a bus stop for a bus that ended right at the stop outside our dorm and I was okay again. Although it was terrifying and I'll never do it again, at least I could say I branched out.
I hope you had fun at your anti-homecoming celebration. You deserve to have a fun time with your friends. I'm sorry I haven't really been there for you much because I've been at school.
From Em, with love.
We had our choir concert today and I was really hoping you would be there. I've never done anything like it before and I really wanted you to see that I'm taking more risks. I'm being more like you. But I also kinda wanted to show off how high I could sing because even I didn't know I could sing as high as I do. Plus I wanted to show you my friends and tell you about my adventure last night!
My friend invited me to this concert that I assumed was at her friend's school. So we got on a bus and walked a little through the city to her friend's dorm only for me to find out that we had to walk more and take another bus to some sketchy punk "stage" building thing in a part of the city I was not familiar with. I was scared out of my mind, Sam, but I figured this would bring me out of my comfort zone a little. Anyway it was a super small thing, like maybe only 35-40 people and they were all older. I think we were the youngest there. Overall the first band I liked, the second was okay, and the third was not my cup of tea and I was super anxious during the whole thing because it was late at night and I was concerned with getting a bus home. Plus they were mashing and a ladder fell on my hand and it hurt..
Anyway! When we were leaving we realized that the bus we were going to get on never stopped at an actual stop the first time, so I began to freak out even more. We were alone in the city at midnight frantically trying to figure out which bus gets us back home. Eventually we split up, me and my friend, and then the two girls from the other school. We eventually found a bus stop for a bus that ended right at the stop outside our dorm and I was okay again. Although it was terrifying and I'll never do it again, at least I could say I branched out.
I hope you had fun at your anti-homecoming celebration. You deserve to have a fun time with your friends. I'm sorry I haven't really been there for you much because I've been at school.
From Em, with love.
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