Dear Grandpa,

I've been thinking about you a lot recently. I wonder what you would think of the person I've become. I'm quite different from the little girl that would always want to play ping pong with you. I'm not saying that me wanting to play ping pong with you is what changed. I would give anything to be able to play a game with you at least one more time. I'm just not a little girl anymore. I hope you would be proud of me. Grandma says you would be.

I wonder what you would think of me studying criminology. I don't think I've ever talked to you about me wanting to do something that involved criminal law. It's been a few years since you've went home to heaven but even before that you wouldn't have been able to understand me. That's not your fault though. It's all that stupid disease's fault. Alzheimers. I'm not even going to talk about it.

You weren't around to see me get my driver's license, or celebrate my 18th birthday, or get accepted into my dream university, or graduate high school, or visit me at college during family weekend. I know you were still probably there for all of those somehow, but I wish you could've been here with us in person. You were one of my favorite people in the whole wide world and I miss you so much. Now that the holidays are coming up it's getting tough again. Family gathering's seem to get smaller and quieter. Maybe that's partly because we're all growing up, (you would be so proud of all of your grandchildren. They're really amazing,) but really nothing has been the same since you left.

I hope I continue to make you proud.

Sending you Big Hugs always.

From Em, with love.